When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
