if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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