Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
