Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
