Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
