Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
