i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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