i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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