I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
