the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
