if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
