I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
