its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
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We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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