they need to just BURY HIM!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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