I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
