i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
So many bounce houses so little time
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
