i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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