I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
