Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Randomize
