What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize