I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
