Where is the hickey?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
