Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
