Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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