that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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