they need to just BURY HIM!
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
