I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Randomize
