I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
