it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Two words: blizzard sex
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
