meet me or not, i'm out of control
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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