I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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