Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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