He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
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Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
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I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Then you guys just all showered together...?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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