We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
