As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
