it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We need a shit load of segways right now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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