Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
