do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
