pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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