just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
