Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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