Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
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