it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
