last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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