Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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