I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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