But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dear god my vagina.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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