On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
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I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
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How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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