So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
