I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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