youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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