I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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