That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
