on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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