I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize