I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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