After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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