Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I party with great urgency now.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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