There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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