It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
