i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
This baby is an asshole
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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